Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy is an Investment in Your Relationship

Couples can benefit from learning proven strategies that make marriage work well. The best time to begin couples therapy is in the beginning, when the couple decides their relationship is getting serious. Good couples therapy helps them learn how to communicate effectively, identify potential problematic issues and to handle disagreements in a healthy way right from the start, before negative patterns become habits. ALL couples have disagreements — that isn't an issue; but how you handle those disagreements is very important.

John Gottman found that unhappy couples often wait about six years before trying couples therapy. By then, bad habits are set and resentments have built up. This makes it harder to be open with each other or give each other credit regarding good things. And sometimes they just don't like each other anymore. It's much better to tackle issues before they become ingrained.

My Approach to Couples Therapy

Over the years, I have explored most of the major approaches to couples therapy, discovering valuable insights along the way. However, I found that these methods lacked the comprehensive framework and structure I sought.

Since 2017, I have dedicated myself to studying and practicing what I believe to be the "gold standard" in couples therapy. I have completed Levels 1–3 of the basic training, along with specialized courses in Treating Affairs & Trauma, Couples Addiction & Recovery, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Bringing Baby Home and Emotion Coaching: The Heart of Parenting . While in the Certification Track, I worked closely with a Gottman Consultant to refine my skills and demonstrate my proficiency in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. I am also a certified provider of The Art and Science of Love, an educational program for couples developed by the Gottmans.

As a Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT), I am committed to providing couples with the highest quality, evidence-based care. Ongoing professional development is central to my practice, and for more than five years I have participated in a twice-monthly consultation group with fellow Certified Gottman Therapists to stay current with the latest research and continually refine my clinical skills to best benefit my clients.

Why I Don't Accept Insurance for Couples Therapy

Insurance is designed to cover the treatment of an individual with a mental health diagnosis, not the relationship itself. To bill insurance for couples therapy, one partner must typically be designated as the "identified patient" and receive a clinical diagnosis, such as depression or anxiety. The therapy must then be documented as medically necessary for that individual, and the diagnosis becomes part of their permanent medical record.

My approach to couples therapy is different. The focus is on the relationship rather than one partner. Both individuals contribute to the strengths and challenges within the relationship, and my role is to help each person better understand and improve the dynamics between them. This allows me to remain neutral and work in the best interest of the relationship without labeling one partner as the problem.

Insurance companies also place restrictions on the type, length, and focus of treatment they will cover and reserve the right to audit clinical records. By remaining out-of-network for couples therapy, I am able to tailor treatment to the unique needs of each couple, maintain greater privacy, and focus on strengthening the relationship rather than assigning a diagnosis to one partner.

My Assessment Process

The first session is 90 minutes during which I get history of the relationship and begin to identify the issues that are causing distress. I explain the Gottman Method and answer questions. After this session I send the couple an online assessment through the Gottman Institute that covers a wide range of topics.

After both partners complete this assessment I meet individually with each one for 50–60 minutes to review their responses and obtain additional personal history. At this time I may assign additional proprietary assessment questionnaires I have developed to provide insight into specific issues identified.

The third session is the Feedback Session. After reviewing all assessments and my own clinical observations during our sessions together, I provide a detailed, multi-page written report outlining relationship strengths, challenges, and personalized recommendations for treatment. This report and customized plan of action are presented during the Feedback Session and is yours to keep as a resource throughout therapy.

After Assessment

How often we meet varies with each couple. Some couples need weekly sessions, at least in the beginning, but most couples do well with every 2–3 weeks. Some couples can do well with only monthly 2-hour sessions after the assessment period. This gives them time to practice the interventions taught in session and identify what is or isn't working. Each session is typically 90 minutes but many times we need to extend it to 2 hours. The number of sessions needed depends on your commitment to practice new skills at home — there is no magic number of sessions required, you control this.

Intensives & Marathon Sessions

Sometimes couples need more than 90 minutes to address the issues in their relationship. An Intensive or Marathon Session might be right for you if scheduling regular sessions is problematic, or you are in serious gridlock regarding an issue, or there has been a crisis that is threatening the relationship. This is also beneficial for couples who don't live in the area. These sessions allow us time to fully explore what's going on and practice strategic interventions that address your situation.